I see them out of the corner of my eye like shadow men and then if I’m soft enough in their full colored glory.
One that often sets my teeth on edge is the Traveler a grey being with an interesting sense of humor. If I don’t listen or fall asleep before I hear him out I dream about spiders and slippery creatures who I’d rather keep my distance from.
He’s not sunshine or rainbows but his presence brings news of change of significant change. Losing my job, finding my twin flame, losing my brother to depression… all of these major events came just shortly after seeing him.
Why am I writing it out now? Because I just spotted him again. Smirking and demanding I take this seriously.
I’ve found his presence makes my heart palpitate not just because of memories of spiders but out of fear of some really hard times ushered in after he appeared. It takes me some time to settle into my truth and realize how much I’ve grown and how strong I am. I have to remind myself that right now hiding isn’t the best option. Laying low won’t cut it… I really need to be seen as I am right now.
Truth be told I’ve been working miracles for my loved ones and it’s high time I got some of those miracles for myself. Ask for my own mountains to be moved.
The Traveler reminds me that I need to move forward too. I need to expand too. I need to blossom too. We can only help people from under the shelter of our own perspective so to keep helping we must continue expanding and shifting our perspective. He reminds me in this way that to remain unchanged, to neglect our own growth is the most selfish thing we can do.
To remain in our own ignorance by choice is to condemn our fellow man.
I’ve dreamt of being trapped in a small cage, bound so tight I cried out with pain. What’s the sense of remaining in a place you no longer fit? Can you, in your discomfort, focus at all on anything else? Expand into the limitless universe and be well.
Oh and love. He reminds me this evening that love is a pathway I have yet to fully explore. How can I go on playing matchmaker and fertility goddess whilst I remain ignorant of what a pure and unadulterated connection is. Even my closest match hasn’t been enough, not physical enough, not close enough in vibration, not open enough. I am tasked with accepting love and exploring the way it fits me like a glove. As above so below – higher selves in sync with deepest roots. I will know truest love, I accept the challenge.
There’s more to love and it’s in the way it so easily transforms our physical reality. Where I’ve had to drag myself into my current job and push for even slight growth; to be in sync with love makes so much of this change effortless. I am tasked with making observations on love and how it remixes my existence.
I was notorious for doubting my ability find someone worthy to commit to. “Love has never done me any favors, I hardly see why she’d start turning tricks now” my response when people asked about marriage or settling down. It’s not been easy to stop that narrative but now I feel like it’ll be about letting my life do the talking and really cementing in my brain the physical proof to match my newish ideology.
So late night visitation brings forth reminders and challenges to be embraced. Bring on the opportunity to expand and blossom. Bring on the love. I am ready.