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Stillness

I stopped. Dead still in the midst of my life and it was the oddest sensation. First thing I realized was it had been a long while since my last stopping place. Th Jen I realized that it wasn’t long enough to set myself right. Still I was able to use everything I had to unravel the unease and the confusion swept under the rug during my busy life.

I realized that I had once more collected too many things, most of which we’re never going to be used. Too many clothes, too many things that either no longer had a place or needed a new space. It was cathartic. Why do we gather so much paper? It’s ridiculous.

I could hear the call of spirit again. While I could turn off the alarm for a week, I was awakened time and time again but spirit who left me messages and visions and all the things I wasn’t strong enough or open enough to see. I am still reeling from what I was given.

One of the most important things I could do was say goodbye. So many doors had closed for me and I could finally release the emotions associated with these, express my gratitude for their gifts and then release them. Amazing how much weight unspoken emotions carry.

I rediscovered my desire for human interaction. When I wasn’t stressed I could see myself. I could see what others saw in me. I could see others as they were rather than who they needed to be for my stability. Crazy how different that is. I was playful again, light, intuitive, and more deeply in touch with my earthly self. I was emotionally available for my sister, and able to respond to situations with love and that sense of humor I thought I lost.

I also found my anxiety and fear. I hadn’t outrun it, I hadn’t figured out how to leave it behind, it had just trailed behind me like a cape, catching the wind and slowing me down. So I addressed it finally and folded it up into neatest ball throwing it away. Thank you and goodbye.

Hope that you make some time for stillness soon so you can feel again the difference between who you are and who you become in the face of a stressful life.

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